Just Do It Already!

"So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear ... let yourself be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life - a life energetic and blazing with holiness." - 1 Peter 1:13

An interesting thing just happened to me.

You know how sometimes something not-so-stellar happens to you, instead of choosing to look at the positive, you (yet again) let yourself fall into a "all life is gloom" mood?

That seems to happen to me a lot.

Well, this morning I had a test, and it wasn't the best one I've taken, so I was feeling bummed.

(Side note: What I should have done was admit that it wasn't great, but not let it affect my entire day).

I was walking from said test back to the dorm, and as I entered the hallway, there she was.

One of those people when, you aren't in the best of moods, you REALLY don't feel like talking to, let alone, being nice to.

I realized there was no avoiding it, since she was headed the same way as me, and I braced myself for the bristling, icy-blast-like enthusiasm.

"OH MY GOODNESS, RACHEL! HOW ARE YOU?!"

In that split second of response-gathering time, I had a full conversation in my head.

"Well," I thought to myself, "...I'll just say hi and get away as soon as I can."

When a voice interrupted.

"Rachel, it isn't that difficult to choose to be nice. Don't focus so much on yourself."

That certainly got my attention.

And you know what I realized?
It really isn't that hard to just put on a smile and be nice.
It's not all about "I, I, I, I, I" all the time.
In the end, I had a great conversation with her, and learned a valuable lesson.

"God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts - be bold, loving, and sensible."

- 2 Timothy 1:7

Stir What'cha Got!

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness."

- Seneca

First things first.

Last semester, I was doing this for my own benefit, and also for a class project, and thus I was on a deadline.
I want to have a wonderfully insightful blog every day, but I don't know if that is:

A) Humanly Possible
B) Time Strain Compliant, or
C) Expecting Too Much

Thus, I will post a blog entry when I actually have something insightful to share.
How about that?
What do you guys think?

Okay, now for the good stuff:

My family and I are currently on vacation in the beautiful state of California.
Aside from grievously missing my cats, I am having a fabulous time.

We stopped at a Panera Bread Co. for a quick lunch while on the road, and could not resist the temptation to buy a baker's dozen of the bagels.
We had already bought a pumpkin muffin and one of the cobblestone things, and thus could not finish eating them.
When we were cleaning up our table, a rather raggedy looking man sat down in the booth joined to ours.
He was on the borderline of homeless looking - he was either a well dressed hobo, or a very disheveled member of working society.
I didn't want to offend him by asking him if we could provide some food for him - an alternate future of being hit in the face with a grubby hand flashed before me, and I decided against it.
But I still felt like I should help him...just in case.
Thus, I packaged up our leftover baked goods, and left them there, temptingly close to his table.
That way, he could choose to take them without being embarrassed, seeing that we had left them there, or if he was indeed not homeless, think we are just irresponsible tourists.

I will never know if we provided the gateway between starvation and survival for that man, but I do know that I did what I could.
In the words of Pastor David Asscherick, I "stirred what I got".

I guess that's what is most important.
Not planning some elaborate showcase of goodwill.
But just working with what we have, to do the most we can.

"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone, not depending on knowing the outcome."

- Frank A. Clark

"

Falling Off the Wagon

"He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything." - Samuel Johnson

I figured it was high time I started doing this again.

Many of you have complained to me about "falling off the wagon", and I thank you for caring, and I also apologize for not doing this every day, and for not continuing it after school ended.

I miss it :(

BUT!

I will do my very best to keep this up - it should be pretty interesting, considering my family is going to California for a couple weeks. Maybe I can do some good out there too!

Thank you guys for being patient with me - I will continue to try to stick to my intended purpose without ranting so much. But if I do have some sort of spiritual revelation that I feel I MUST share, I know you will forgive me ;-)

Stay tuned for the next entry, hopefully coming soon!

"Do not wait for leaders - do good alone, person by person." - Mother Theresa

Sleepswimming

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." - Beverly Sills

As a college student, you get to the point where you can't think anymore.

This usually happens in the final three weeks of school (like we are in now) and only accelerates in urgency and voracity as the days slip by.
Poor seniors have this disease times a million, for they move on to becoming "real adults", not just a summer and then another year of school.

If you are a college student like me (attention high school students: please hear me - I thought I was busy a year ago at this time...no, no. I was mistaken. I don't want to scare you, I really don't. But prepare now. Don't think you can go off to college and have fun all the time. DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO THAT DELUSION. PREPARE NOW.) you feel like you are being tossed about in a sea of assignments, drowned by tidal waves of reports, labs, essays, and the list goes on and on.

At least that is how I feel.
Drowned and brain dead.

I am so pitiful, I have forgotten to pray for an opportunity to act kindly.
Yes.
I have failed.
I have not done this every day like I wanted.
But sometimes, a report unfortunately takes precedence over happiness.
Isn't that sad?
Seems unjust and wrong.
So after this literal hell of "Hey fellow professors, let's kill the students!" is over,
I PLEDGE TO BE MORE FAITHFUL WITH THIS MISSION.

Please bear with me as I try to swim for my life.

And by the way, I am so glad I don't have to do this alone.
I have a Best Friend that wants to help me, and be with me every stroke of the way.

"It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God. We get exhausted because we try to do God's work in our own way." - Oswald Chambers

Sensory Overload

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may life you up in due time." - 1 Peter 5:6, 7

Today.

Today, my ears were temporarily deafened
by a decibel chart-shattering, eardrum ripping, sanity splitting
scccccccrrrrrreeeeeeeeeecccccccccchhhhhhhhhh
by a broken door leading into the student center.
This was nails on a chalk board times 50,000.

And then I went to a convocation by a talented guitarist.
But I had the misfortune of looking up at the giant, 3 million watt bulb
lights for no reason.
And was soundly blinded for a moment or two.
When vision returned, everything was clouded, whirling, and surreal.
It didn't take long for my eyes to snap back to normal...thank goodness.

What a day.

Then it occurred to me that the presence of God may be something like that.
Except minus the unpleasantness.
And adding in gloriousness.
...
This was a bad analogy.
But WHATEVER.
It makes sense in my head.

So anyway.

God's presence KILLED PEOPLE.
One guy just touched something the Lord had dwelled in, and he dropped dead!
Elijah was allowed to see God as He passed a cave, but God had to partially block his vision so Elijah wouldn't die!
Just gazing on Him is death!

Makes me feel like a sinful piece of flotsam.

I don't know why,
but for some reason that Holy and marvelous God
gave us His Son.

"Though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not." - C.S. Lewis

Word Vomit

"No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen." - Jewish Proverb

So.
Hey.

Haven't blogged in a little while.
And I finally have something to say.


STOP
THINKING
YOU
KNOW
EVVVEERRRYYYYTTTHHHHIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Count to 10, Rachel. Count to 10.


Some people think they are doing the world a favor by lending their endless knowledge
to those of us who are, according to them, "un-enlightened"
as to their brilliance, and smirk at the notion that a person could
possibly know something they don't.

STUPID ELITISTS.

Lame.
Lame.
Lame.
Lame.
Lame.

Our job, as Christians, is not to go around telling everyone what we think we know.
It is to LISTEN.
That means ceasing running our mouths.
For once.

Sheesh.

So next time you feel the urge,
that sickening, twisting, unsettling impetus to tell a person all about your "extensive" knowledge,
just put a cork in it and listen to what they have to say.
WHAT A NOVEL IDEA!

Maybe, EVEN YOU, will learn something.

That goes for all of us.

"Never miss a chance to shut up." - Will Rogers

Blinders of Blessings

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Today I was standing in line at the cafeteria, and I heard something that startled me.

A guy was talk to his friends, and (yes, I shamelessly eavesdropped) he said:
"I can't come back next year."
His friends answered:
"Why?"
He then said:
"Well, since I live in Korea, I am required to serve in the military for two years - then I can possibly come back to Southern."

I am a victim of consumerism.
We have to have new stuff, right now, until it isn't new anymore.
Which is usually not very long.

Some little kid is dying of starvation right now.
Some elderly man is drinking sewer water because he has no other water source.
Some young woman is going to sell herself tonight because she has no money.

We are so pathetic.
We take God's gifts to us for granted.
We think we DESERVE all that He has provided for us.
Who do we think we are?

"If you can't be content with what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped."

- Anonymous

Eh

"I refuse to make uninspired music." - Ben Harper

It seems like the more I try to do kind things for people, the more often kindnesses are shown to me.

I am sad this blog has morphed from it's original intent into my own religious ravings.
Although they are somewhat entwined.
Whatever.

I have been lax about faithfully blogging every day.
And that makes me angry.
But I just haven't had much to say the last week or so.
I'm not sure why.

"Boredom is an emptiness filled with insistence." - Eric Hoffer

I Can't Take It In

"What is man, that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou visit him?"

- Psalm 8:3,4

Things aren't always sunshiny.

Sometimes they just downright stink.

You drift away from things that matter,

and fill your mind with things that don't.

But God always has a way of bringing you back into focus.

Like showing us how small we are.

There was a worship tonight in the dorm.

They showed a video of a man speaking about God in relation to the universe He created.

(by the way, I found them on YouTube - do yourself a favor and watch them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewktSKbWZUI )

I have not the words to speak of this.

The subject is too immense for me.

But I can say that God always has a way of coming back into our lives.

We just have to let Him in.

That means actually spending time with Him.

The fact that we have that option is what He died for.

And that just ... flabbergasts me.

And I apologize for not blogging every day.

I held a lot of doors, made a few cards, and bought Sonic drinks.

"Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big God is." - Owen Orr

Painters With Poor Eyesight

"How do we know that the sky isn't green ... maybe we are all just colorblind." - Anonymous

Maybe we are.
We all live behind the screens of past experiences.

There is so much out there.
But we walk down the promenade
and eat take-out salad
and tie our shoes
and look at faces
and walk up stairs
and sync our ipod
and slam drawers
and drop our soap in the shower
and text multiple people at the same time thinking we know everything.

Don't just think "yeah, that's true" to yourself and move on.
Think about it.
Dwell on it.
Remember it as you wake up tomorrow.
We base our whole world views on stuff that has happened to us that we have analyzed to death.

I want to look at things as if I've never seen them before.

It's funny how this whole thing has turned into what it is.

And I held doors again today.
And that's okay.

"There are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Cricket Noises

"One always speaks badly when one has nothing to say." - Voltaire

Yep.
I don't really have anything to say.
But I did make an anniversary card for some friends of the family, and a birthday card for my 3-year-old second cousin.
They were awesome.
If I say so myself.

Since that is all that I have to say...I will say no more.

"When you have nothing to say, say nothing." - Charles Caleb Cotton

Jeepers Creepers!

"Opportunities? They are all around us. There is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to discover it." - Orison Swett Marden

Sometimes God is obvious.

Sometimes He just puts things right in front of us.

Literally.

Hi my name is Rachel, and I am a Sonic addict.

I was there today, parked on the right side, which looks out to the Crye-Leike realty office, a big billboard, and the road that goes under the railroad tracks.

As I was waiting for my drink of hallelujah-I-did-the-ACT-again-without-blowing-a-gasket, I looked up at the sign for the Crye-Leike office.

They always have cute little wordings to grab attention.

But today, oh today, there was the best one I have seen in a while.

It read:

"Two hot new listings on Turkey Lane - call Lori at 555-5555 (ha) to 'gobble' up the information!"

I laughed to myself, envisioning cute little turkey realtors showing Good Housekeeping-worthy homes.

And so, I called up Lori.

It was after 5pm, so no one answered, but I left a message telling her how cute the sign was, and that I looked forward to their creative wording and ideas, and they brighten up my day, and that I hoped they had a fabulous weekend.

I thought it might be stupid, because ... well, I couldn't really come up with an excuse.

So I called.

And guess what?

LORI CALLED ME BACK.

I was in the shower, so she left a voicemail, and she told me:

"Rachel, you made MY day. I always wonder if anyone notices my signs, and you just made me feel special! Thank you for taking the time to tell me that - I appreciate you!"

The blessings go both ways.

If we just look up and open our eyes!

"It's marvelous what you could see if you opened your eyes." - Anonymous

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Consciousness - that trying time between naps." - Unknown

And I though I was busy last week.

I need to stop using this thing for a rant.
But it has become a very personal outlet for me.
This isn't just about a class assignment.
It is a spiritual and mental growth outlet.

And that said, I will try to rant less.
We'll see how that goes.

And I will try harder to get this done every day.

So my acts of kindness: sadly there hasn't been time for more than holding doors and smiling.
But maybe this weekend will be better.
We'll see how that goes too.

"I'm not asleep ... but that doesn't mean I'm awake." - Anonymous

The Master Gardener

"How soon 'not now' becomes never." - Martin Luther

Indeed.

Well, here I am.
A full week behind in my blog.
Yes, a break was upon we Southern students, and I actually did not intend to take a break from my blog, but you all know how breaks are for getting things done.

Therefore, I am left to beg your pardon once again for my lack of resolve.

I had quite a break.
The weekend of February 26 was spent mostly at the Madison Campus Church.
A faith summit was held by the Amazing Facts ministry, with Pastor Doug Batchelor presenting.
I got to meet him, and shake his hand.
He is indeed shorter than he appears on tv.
However, he is a wonderful speaker - and said a great deal of things we need to hear.
One thing he said that particularly struck me was that we "sin by proxy".
2 Corinthians 5:10 tells us to tear down the structures of sin we erect in our lives - that includes, I believe, perhaps not participating in acts that are sin, but watching or listening to people who do them, and being entertained by it.

On Sunday, my family and I went to St. Louis!
We ate at Sweet Tomatoe's twice, and went up the arch.
It was wonderful.

And then we returned home to laze around and do nothing.

And now I am back here in my cell...er...dorm room.

We had an interesting discussion in Life and Teachings today.
I am sure you are acquainted with the likening of sin to a weed.
And anyone who has gardened knows that some weeds are easy to root out.
But others...others linger.
Other weeds' roots snap off in the soil, and germinate therein again.
You need a special tool to get that sort of weed completely out (and the easy weeds, I might add).
And that, I believe to be God's forgiveness.
We are incapable of pulling out the objectionable creeper on our own.
We try and try and try, and still that despicable seedling rises again.
We need God's strength and know-how to get rid of it entirely.

He is the Master Gardener.
Let us learn from His "green thumb".

"I always think about sins when I weed. They grow apace in the same way and are harder still to get rid of." - Helena Rutherford

Voracious Vexation

"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its worries, but empties today of its strength."

- Charles Spurgeon

I hate worrying about everything.

I worry, worry, worry all of the time.

I worry about tests.

I worry about projects.

I worry about people.

I worry about safety.

I worry about our country.

You name it, and I worry about it.

I think I am slightly paranoid.

Or something.

Whatever it is, I waste my precious brain-power worrying about possible negative occurrences our outcomes, and it is just pointless.

I am sure I am not the only one who does this.

Let's remember that there is nothing we can do to control the future.

We just have to trust that Jesus will help us through it, not matter what happens.

And I bought Sonic for Brittany today.

"For peace of mind, resign as General Manager of the Universe." - Anonymous

Bending and Twisting

"Stand up and walk out of your history." - Phil McGraw

Today was quite a day.
Where do I even begin?

Well, for starters, we are discussing homosexuality in my Marriage & Family class.
And our professor brought in a guest today.
And guess what?
He was gay.
And he told us all about why we should accept gay people.
He told us he has been living with a partner for 11 years.
Here are some interesting quotes from said gay man (didn't catch his name):
"Believe me - I tried everything to make myself straight, but I couldn't deny who I am."
"I was raped when I was three...I have known I was gay since I was little."
"I don't think life is supposed to be miserable - I think we should be happy."
"I believe in Jesus Christ."
"Some people go their whole lives without knowing true love; it's a shame - why should gay people not experience it?"
"I have decided to accept who I am..."
"I think there is a lot in the Bible that has been written by men, not God ... I think there is a lot that isn't of God..."

Interesting, huh?
He allowed questions at the end...but I couldn't just ask him my questions without losing my cool.

And so, as he spoke, I jotted down some interesting thoughts of my own.

"Maybe you did try to rehabilitate yourself to become straight. But do you know that being gay isn't something you are born in to? Do you not believe that it is something satan uses for our destruction? Do you refuse to believe that because then you would have to struggle with yourself every single day to deal with it and still be accountable to God?"

"Yes, a horrible, terrible, inconceivably bad thing happened to you. I cannot begin to imagine to know what it has been like living with that. But then you said you knew you were gay when you were little...do you think your rape had nothing to do with that 'discovery'? Do you know that in a recent study, 7 out of 8 people who identified themselves as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual had rape, alcoholism, etc. in their past, usually childhood? Do you really believe this originated in your brain by some abnormality in your DNA? Since you believe in things beyond our own planet, you therefore do believe that there is an evil force in our world - and you also believe he had nothing to do with your pain and struggles with yourself?"

"Who said life is supposed to be happy all the time? Through Jesus, yes, we can have hope in a future beyond our own stunted lives - that should make us happy. But does that mean we get to do whatever we want and 'be happy' all the time?"

"You believe in Jesus Christ? Maybe you believe in part of Him. You can only serve two masters. No, I am not perfect. I have my own struggles, we all have our own problems. But we can learn from each other. You do not know everything. You, like everyone else, needs Jesus' cleansing blood. But we cannot pick and choose which teachings we want to believe."

"Yeah, some people do go their whole entire lives without knowing romantic love. That can disappoint our human nature, our human desire to fulfill that kind of need. But what is more important than that love? Following God's commands - He loves us more than any human ever could. Shouldn't we, out of love, serve Him first, not our human desires?"

"You have decided to accept who you are? You've given up! I can't imagine going my entire life struggling with something like that, and why God allowed that to happen to you, I cannot answer. But I can see that He allowed it to test your trust and reliance in Him and His word. But living an entire life fighting something like that would be hard - apparently too hard for you. You have stopped fighting it because it's easier. No, it won't ever go away. But that doesn't mean that God's commands do."

"Unfortunately, you believe those commands were put into the Bible by men, therefore justifying your decision. How can something be so clear to me, yet so unfounded to you? I cannot explain it any more, I can only hope that you change your mind."

Whew.
If I had been speaking with him alone, I might have said these things to him.
But I feel inadequate to try and dissuade him - I feel like someone with more religious ability than me should confront people about issues like these.
I am still growing and learning.
If you disagree with me, please leave your comments.

And after that, I went to Sonic.
And the lady who brought my drink was crying, for heaven's sake!
She said she had a terrible toothache, but they were short workers, and couldn't find any to take her shift, so she had to stay there instead of go to the doctor.
I wish I could have been bold enough to barge in there and advocate for her.
But I told her I was sorry she was in pain, and I hoped she would feel better.
I am a mouse.
And I didn't even think to pray with her.

Like I said, I am not prepared.
I am selfish.
Totally focused on me, me, me.
But I am willing to change and grow.
That makes the difference.

"You can bend it and twist it. You can misuse it and abuse it. But even God can't change the truth." - Michael Levy

Speaking a Dead Language

"Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression." - Dodie Smith

Sometimes I don't feel like myself.
That means I don't feel like rehashing my days.
Some days I just don't care.
And that's not like me, yet it's a part of me anyway.
I don't get it.

Wednesday (Feb. 17):
Katie and I kept Levi's girlfriend, Anna, in our room for a few days while she attended the Honor Choir Festival.
That was kind, right?
Sure.

Thursday (Feb. 18):
Took photography midterm.
Didn't whine about it.
That was kind, right?
Why not?

Friday (Feb. 19):
Let people cut me off in traffic without yelling at them...to myself.
Whee.

Sabbath (Feb. 20)
Went to Honor Choir concert...though I wanted to sleep.
It was awesome.
They did great.
Made me miss the olden days.

Today:
Held some doors.
Bought Sonic drinks.
Impulsively bought 10 songs on iTunes.
The Creamy Bean was closed.
Whatever.

I just want to be happy.
I just want to be done with this.
I just want to go home.
I'm done.
But I won't give up.
I wasn't raised that way.
I will ignore my self-pity and deal with it.
Whatever.
I don't even make sense any more.
Whatever.

"One can't complain. I have my friends. Someone spoke to me only yesterday." - Eeyore

Happiness

"The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it." - Richard Bach

Today, I decided to be happy.

Having a good or bad day is a choice, not an uncontrollable circumstance.

It is okay to be happy - some people think that being happy is a sin.
I don't know why, because the Bible tells us to "rejoice and be glad".

I held more doors today.
And instead of being upset that I didn't have some divine inspiration, I decided to be content.

"If you want to be happy, well, be happy!" - Leo Tolstoy

OVER IT

"Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing." - Lao Tzu

And now, another catch up, brought to you by College-Students-Have-No-Lives-Outside-of-School Incorporated.

Friday:
Gave out Valentines gifts to various family and friends.
Stayed night at crazy-cat-lady Aunt Evie's house.
Had three fluffy kitties snuggle with me.

Sabbath:
Left house by 8:45 am.
Held precarious strawberry dessert prepared by Aunt Evie's boyfriend (thus, if I dropped it, I was dead meat) as she flew across the potholes and ice in her usual 30 mph-over-the-speed-limit way, in my new dressy cream colored coat.
Whew.
Gave brownies and Valentine's card to 90-year-old Great Aunt Blanche, and brought her to church.
Helped Mommy prepare Sabbath lunch.
Ate like a starved pig.
Went to brother's Wind Symphony concert - AWESOME.
Ate Mexican food at 10 pm.

Sunday:
BEST.DAY.EVER.
Slept in.
Got coffee with a brain buzz shot.
Drove with Mommy and Daddy to Atlanta.
Ate at Sweet Tomatoe's.
Went shopping.
Spent too much money.
Came back :(
Held doors.

Today: A Typical Monday
Class.
Class.
Class.
Held more doors.
Class.
Class.
Homework.
Worship.
Filled out survey.
...
Whee.

I think I am just ready for a break.
Midterm is quickly approaching.
But that's not enough.
I just want to be done and go home.
And do things I want to do.
Like...walk through long, sweet green grass.
Look up and see cerulean sky.
And white fluffy marshmallow clouds.
And feel a cool, lingering breeze.
And lay on a soft, fluffy, pink blanket.
And draw faces.
And watch I Love Lucy with my Mom.
And discuss politics with my Dad.

Life is never what we want it to be.

"I'm over it." - Evelyn Howe

Where Does the Good Go?

"Don't be yourself - be someone nicer." - Mignon McLaughlin

I have a high distaste for people that think they know everything.

I have an even higher distaste for people who say mean things about people, thinking they get away with it.

No matter how secret your words, someone always hears.

It just sickens me to see people act so ... heartless.

Today, in Photography class, we were discussing some of the photos - what we liked or disliked.

We have a couple guys in our class who like to speak up a lot.

One "knows everything".

And the other seems to genuinely want others to realize things about a picture, by pointing out things. He does it quite often, and he seems a bit different.

But does that mean we can give each other knowing looks, snickers, and whispered "he is so weird"s, like I saw a few of my classmates doing?

I know we all do it.

I do it without thinking too.

But God showed me today just how ugly it is.

How did we become so cruel?

When did we stop caring, and stop being nice even when we don't want to?

Have we really become that selfish?

Let us not forget that other people have feelings too - everyone wants to feel needed and wanted.

You may not like someone very much, but it is our duty and just common courtesy to overlook our negativity, and treat people how they should be treated.

Aside from that, my kind act today was sending a Valentine's Day card to my little almost-three-year-old cousin, Aubree.

It was a lion that had soft, fluffy fabric stuff as a mane, and said "You're the best Valentine ever - no lion!"

Precious.

"Kindness is in our power - even when fondness is not." - Samuel Johnson

God Save Us

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." - C.S. Lewis

God save us.

So I was driving along, and stopped at a red light.
And I was next to some SUV, with their rap music playing.
Who knows what sort of disgusting and vile lyrics were running through the mind of the man driving.
He was a younger guy, and alone.
I got a whim to pray that God would influence him to reach over and change his music.
A minute went by and I was still asking God to intervene in the situation.
The man was singing along.
When I was sure nothing would happen, and the light was certainly about to change, an amazing thing happened.
No, the song did not end.
The man reached over and flipped the station.
I didn't hear any music after that, so I don't know what he changed it to, but the important thing is that God heard me.
God chose to intervene.
The whole thing was a whim, but He answered.
The man's mind was being lulled into a thoughtless, vulgar state.

God did not create us to coat our minds with mind-numbing beats and foul words.
That coating diminishes any sort of contact the Lord can have with us.
God did not create us to be tranquilized by the poison of Satan's disguises, rendering us to be bleary-eyed, glazed over nothings.

Yet we happily spend our lives playing video games, listening to bad music, watching degrading movies, etc. and etc. because it's easy.
We reject the purpose God gave us - we reject the intelligence He has given EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.

God save us.

"The human spirit fails, except when the Holy Spirit fills." - Corrie ten Boom

Paradigm Shift

"Up, sluggard! And waste not life - the grave will hold sleeping enough." - Benjamin Franklin

So.

I received advice yesterday that changed my outlook.

I was told by someone, after reading my blog, that I should take more initiative in my acts of kindness, instead of waiting for them to happen.

And I have to agree with them.

I think I should start planning some acts of kindness.

So I don't keep having these "holding door" days.

Like today was.

Gah.

What do you think?

"Sometimes questions are more important than answers." - Nancy Willard

(PS) Darkroom was a disaster. I will spare you the details. You're welcome.

Setting the World on Fire

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

I know.
I know.
I know.
I am a slacker.
I apologize.
It has been all weekend.
And I am sorry.

HERE COMES YET ANOTHER SUMMARY.

Friday:
Got up at 6am.
Homework.
Class.
Class.
Held door.
Class.
Lunch.
Pack.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME (best word in the English language)

Sabbath:
Church at Madison.
Smiled a lot.
Ben (mi hermano) played in Brass Festival - awesome!!!!!!
Lunch.
Visit.
Sleep.
Sonic.
Ate like a sow.
Played games.
Pass out from exhaustion...and food overload.

Sunday:
Homework.
Pack.
Sonic with Mom and Mrs. Hartman.
Discovered even seemingly perfect Moms have struggles too.
Listened like a friend...hopefully.
Came back to Southern...bleh.
Unpack.
Eat.
Sleep.

TODAY:
Some days are just...blah, ya know?
They're normal.
Fine.
Okay.
Depressing!
I wish I could do something extraordinary every day.
But I resigned myself to holding doors.
I need to learn to be content.
And patient.
And humble.
IT IS SO HARD.
I hope you all can identify with me.
Not that I'm impatient and overbearing...but that ... never mind.

I guess I don't have much to say today.
Simply that I need to learn to not want to "set the world on fire", but be content with a small flame.

"Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have." - Doris Mortman

Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall

"Self pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable." - Maya Angelou

What a day.
Humbling.
But good.

On days such as this, it is easy to fall into a trap of feeling sorry for myself.
A lot of things go wrong.
First of all, it rained.
Now don't take this wrong - rain is a wonderful thing.
It nourishes the Earth.
But it sure can make me feel lethargic.
And melancholy.
And "blah".

For a part Sanguine like me, it stinks to feel so "woebegone".
It's like the world is going to end!
We just want to be happy!

But life isn't always "coming up roses".
I just have to accept it.
Sigh.

Today, I held more doors.
And smiled.
But not as much as if it had been sunny.

I also heard a friend tell me about all the difficult stuff that has happened to her today.
And I realized I should stop feeling sorry for myself.
We all go through our days with our heads buried under the sand.
We have blinders on, shielding our vision from other peoples' problems.
We can only see our own "tragedies".

I am guilty of this.

We are so ... pitiful.
Think about it.
We are so pathetic ... and so ... blind.
Blind because we cannot see, and do not wish to see.

I beseech God to unfog our eyes, and help us look with clarity for the hurts of others.

"There is a condition worse than blindness - seeing something that isn't there." - Thomas Hardy

The Great Commission

"To me, every hour of every day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle [and opportunity]." - Walt Whitman

Well, happy Wednesday everyone.
Even though it's pretty much over.

Oh well.

Today I held a door for about 65 people!
They were all leaving the same class room, so it was easy - ha ha.

An interesting thought occurred to me today.
We all try to find that "happy medium" - a life that is "perfect".
Nothing goes wrong.

As a child, it is your own birthday every day filled with cake and presents and toys and never having to make one's bed.
As an adult, we'd have our ideal job that was fun everyday, time to go out with friends, a significant other who always treated us right, family that we'd see more often than holidays, and plenty of time to do what we enjoy.
We try so desperately to get to that point.

What for?

Shouldn't we as Christians know that isn't what this life is about?

How is it possible we have lost our grip on the fact that this world is going to end soon - and our job is to bring others to His plan?
How can we ignore such a vital task?
Why do we run around every day trying to make more money, have more friends, or nice clothes?
What on earth are we doing????????

"Every man's life is a fairy tale, written by God's fingers." - Hans Christian Andersen

Oh To Shut My Motormouth

"The first duty of love is to listen." - Paul Tillich

I am good at talking.
I love to talk.
I love making people laugh.
I love telling stories.
I am demonstrative.
By nature, I am an extrovert.
I am loud.
Sometimes too loud.
Sometimes outspoken.

Today, God decided to teach a lesson of humility and quiet grace.

Over the past few weeks, I have become more and more aware of how little I actually listen to people.
I interrupt.
I have a bad habit of staring off into space when others are talking.
I often jump in and finish what they were going to say...even though it may not have actually been what they were going to say.

It is a hard lesson to unlearn.

I have also become more aware of just how beautiful quiet humility is.
Pure.
Unwordly.
Simple.
Moral.
Kind.
Sweet.
Faithful.
Devoted.
Chaste.
Clean.
Unsuspecting.
Innocent.
Submissive.
Gentle.
Meek.
Mild.

Those are the adjectives that we should all strive to be.
Especially those of use who are Choleric, Sanguine, or BOTH.
And that goes for you too, Melancholy and Phlegmatic.
We can all struggle with having that true character of Jesus - self denying.

So today, God sent me two friends who needed someone to talk to.
One was having family issues, and needed advice.
One had thoughts about her relationship that needed to be heard.

In the first, I needed to speak.
In the second, I needed to listen.

How wonderful it is to put someone before yourself.
How rare a time we actually remember to do it.

Today, I have been reminded what Jesus asked us to do.
To be servants of our fellow man, and serve out of love.

"Freely we serve, because freely we love." - John Milton

Bromidic Burbling

"Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key on the bunch that opens the lock." - Anonymous

Well.
There isn't much to say today.
Some days are like that.

I held a lot of doors and smiled a lot.
No epiphanies.
No voices from heaven or openings in the clouds - ha.

But God doesn't have to speak to us everyday.
Why should we deserve that?

"Happiness consists not with having much, but being content with little." - Marguerite Gardiner

Life is Just...Life

"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow." - Charlotte Bronte

Another weekend has slipped by, and I have failed to blog.
Yet another catch up is below.

Friday:
Writing for the Media class - digressed to discussing shorthand.
Talked about how Mrs. Ball can read/write it.
Discussed how it is a lost art.
I said we should have a shorthand class.
Class adjourned.
A girl in the class from Nigeria asked me who it was I had said knew the language.
I hurriedly told her (I have a class in 7 minutes that is a long ways up the Promenade).
She begins to tell me about her shorthand class in high school, etc.
I really needed to go, but Someone told me to stay and listen.
And I did.
I think she just needed someone to talk to; she is a long way from home.

Sabbath:
Church cancelled due to snow/ice.
Made omelets with Katie.
Took photos for Depth of Field project.
Held doors...again.
Ordered pizza.
Went to pick it up.
Delivery man took it by accident.
They doubled our order.
We have a lot of leftover pizza.
Watched Hairspray with Katie.

Today (Sunday):
Homework.
Reading.
Homework.
Reading.
Homework.
Reading.
Photo lab.
3 hours later, scratched result.
Have no idea how it happened.
Neither did two lab assistants.
Have lame picture to turn in.
Probably won't get any dots.
Whatever.

And so, here I am.
Depressed.
Discouraged.
Restless.
Worn out.
Fed up.
Bleh.

It has been less than a month this school year, and I'm already discouraged.
Is that pathetic?
Yeah, probably.
But I can't help it.
I am usually a very positive, extroverted person.
So when things go wrong, it sends me down fast.
Such is the lot in life for a part-sanguine.
I hope for a the ridiculous: for things to go right at all the time.

That will never happen until we finally get out of this world.
Only when we are finally free from the constant oppressive struggle.
I am just ready to go home.

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that just cannot be." - Anonymous

Spectators Beware

"Since when do we have to agree with everyone all the time?" - Lillian Hellman

Well.

Today has been infuriating.
And saddening.
And embarrassing.
And just...GAH!

Yep, you guessed it.
Photography was terrible.

I am sorry to rant again.
But the "dotting" system blew up again.
I have decided there are a lot of ... how should I put this kindly ... maybe a little inexperienced people in the class. I think they just honestly don't know what to look for in the assignments given.
I could say names.
But because I am not wanting this to be spiteful, I will not.
I know I must seem whiny by bringing this up again.
But I can't help it.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
So, anyways.
I will say that is was a little better this time.
But still retarded.
My fellow colleagues chose a picture of a building (my goodness, what creativity! imagine, looking up at a building! ... sheesh) and an image of a gun with bullets, which by the way, were at the exact same level as the camera.
THAT ISN'T EVEN WHAT THE ASSIGNMENT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And praise God, our professor brought that up - he said that it would have been perfect for the Depth of Field assignment.
Amen and amen.
Thus, that class has a lot of jug heads.
All the good photographs were left behind!
I can't even say how many awesome pictures weren't even mentioned.
INJUSTICE.

And then , to top that off, an article appeared in the Accent today written by a very disgruntled young Chattanoogan (is that right?) railing Adventists and grouping us into a giant stereotype.
Here is the link:
http://accent.cs.southern.edu/?p=1806

And THEN I wasted two hours in the lab by developing photos that didn't even turn out! (thank goodness they were only an extra credit project, not an assignment, and I can do it again)

BUT, I did do something nice today: I brought a surprise Sonic drink to Brittany while she was working at WSMC 90.5 :D
She liked it.

I don't understand how some people just float through life and don't care about these issues.
They don't care that amazing photographs are overlooked in a class.
They don't care that some people think Adventists are cheap, fake, and stupid.
They don't care that a left-wing, socialist freak and his goons are ruining our country.
They don't' care that Jesus is coming soon, and think it is silly to believe in something they can't see.
They don't' care.
I don't' get it.
I cannot sit by and watch these injustices.
I can't.
God didn't make me that way.
So you can think I am whiny.
You can think I overreact.
I just know that I want to change things for the better.
And I will do whatever I have to in order to accomplish it.

"Up, sluggard, waste not life! In the grave will be sleeping enough!" - Benjamin Franklin

A Single Sunbeam

"A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows." - St. Francis of Assisi

Today, fulfillment came.

I didn't just hold a door for someone.

I really made (hopefully) a difference.

To begin:

I went to the cafe to get lunch to go.

As I was walking past the area where people leave their trays when they have finished eating, a girl carrying her dirty plate and many other things (and seemingly in a hurry) dropped several used napkins.

They looked quite disgusting.

I could have picked them up for her.

I thought about it.

But...

I didn't.

"I failed. I can't believe I just walked right by. I am a failure. I should just give up."

That's what I was thinking to myself as I descended the stairs to the outdoors.

But God heard me.

He pulled me out of a "slough of despondency".

My RA was coming up Rachel's Ladder (for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a outdoor long line of stairs that go from the bottom of Wright Hall and connect to the Promenade).

She was carrying a lot of things, and in a hurry.

She tried to take too many steps at a time, which we all do on those stairs because they are so short.

She tripped, and fell down.

I was right next to her going the opposite way.

And praise God, her water bottle rolled right over to me.

I picked it up, helped her up, and said "it's okay, I have done that same thing many a time".

She seemed thankful, but she could not have been as thankful as me.

I know God sent her to me - I am sorry she had to fall down, but I am so glad that God gave me that opportunity.

I know that he isn't done with me.

He can still use me.

Maybe this seems silly to some.

Maybe you say "why is she even doing this?"

Well, we all have our different ways of feeling useful.

This is mine.

And then I went to Sonic.

And then I went to Marriage and Family class.

And our professor showed a little clip from I Love Lucy (the best television show that has ever been created) to illustrate the 1950's way of thinking about gender roles.

And then I ate Honey Sunshine cereal.

And life is okay.

We shall see what tomorrow holds, for tomorrow we turn in our next photos...

oh boy.

"When the world says 'give up', God whispers 'try one more time...'" - Anonymous

'Rising Above' is Hard

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey

I don't even know where to begin with today.

Still no major inspirations of kindness.

Went to photography class.

Got back the grade for our first photo.

The professor said he understood where I was going, but thought it was, and I quote:

"...the lip was distracting...her arm looked abnormally large...don't set up your subjects in such a theatrical way...it is easier ... to shoot subjects as they naturally appear."

Well, that is all well and good, Mr. Professor.

But isn't fashion or awareness photography all about theatrics?

Dramatizing a subject is fine.

Portraying injustices in the world should be commendable, not "theatrical".

This assignment was entitled "our choice".

That means we get to shoot whatever we want.

I wanted to take a photo of something that actually spoke, not something that just had "cool contrast".

And her lip was part of her injuries.

And her arm is just incredibly buff.

Beth is a crazy athlete.

So there.

I apologize for using this blog as a rant, but it just happens.

It helps me get it out of my system.

Continuing with the day:

I went to the darkroom, and made a really cool print of my brother playing his tuba for our "Dramatic Angles" project. (You can find it on my facebook)

I think it's awesome.

I hope I get more stickers.

Is that selfish?

Probably.

My kind deed for the day was not much of anything; I said a few nice things about other peoples' prints.

Those soul-feeding experiences still elude me.

Sigh.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Bewildering Thicket

"We must be willing to to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

So here I am, at the end of another day.

Lost in a bewildering thicket.

I'm not sure why the excitement I had for this project was so incredible in the beginning, and how I am now so complacent.

That's how it is with Christianity in general, I suppose.

We are energized in the beginning, but lose our fervor as the weeks slip by.

You all know why, don't you?

So God can give us the learning experience of FAITH.

Without faith, we lose interest in our projects or our religion, and give up.

Exactly what Satan has in mind.

But God still beckons us to have faith in Him, and to trust in His existence.

Why he puts up with our childish fickleness, I have no idea.

Aren't you glad He is so patient? I know I am!

So today, I held the door for an old man.

He was grateful.

Sad to say, I was still despondent.

And still am a bit.

But I still refuse to believe that God gave me an idea such as this to leave me in a place such as this.

I know that incredible experiences will come, and I will gladly wait.

I never get tired of holding doors.

"Where hope grows, miracles blossom." -Elna Rae

Catch Up

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope." - Alexandre Dumas Pere

I need to get better at doing this on the weekend.

Sorry for the delay.

I went home this weekend, so that was wonderful ... and diverting as well.
So I will catch you up.

Friday: Class. Packed. Drove home. Held the door open for people.

Sabbath: Helped fix lunch for 11 guests. Ate like a pig.

Sunday: Mom got called to work at 6:30 am. Dad drove her. I rode with them. Homework. Homework. Homework. Laundry. Homework. Mom came home early :D Wal*Mart. Drove home. Unpacked. Sleep.

And there you have it.
Nothing monumental.

But maybe it doesn't have to be.
Well, I know it doesn't have to be huge.
But still.
I want it to be.
Is that wrong?

I hope not.

Will tell you about today later tonight :)

Stickers and Such

"I don't think I should be underestimated." - Lindsay Davenport

John/Jane Doe:
"Yeah, I know Rachel Parrish.
She's pretty, but not beautiful.
She takes good pictures, but not of what I want to see.
She could be a leader, but she doesn't have good enough grades for it.
She sings well, but she doesn't know technical things.
She's smart, but she didn't make a perfect score on the ACT.
She's fun to be with, but I don't want to confide in her because she might tell me something I don't want to hear.
She's nice, but she's too conservative to be 'cool'.
She tries, but her contributions are subjective.


This is the story of my life.
Denied. Refused. Denied. Refused. Denied.

I'm never quite good enough.
Why?
People look right past me.
They walk right by my photographs and say "Oh, well there's a portrait of someone".
NO.
It tells a story, genius.
The girl has a black eye. And a busted lip. She is abused. Her eyes are haunting.
But no, to some, it's just a portrait.
"There are none so blind as those who will not see." - Gregory Y. Titelman

To some, I'm just some girl that tries to change too many things for their comfort level.

If you are confused, which I wouldn' t surprised about and I apologize, here is the story:

Today our photographs were due for Intro to Photography class.
Mine was a photo of a friend who we had made into an abused woman.
The photo was powerful. People told me so.
It had a story.
We put our photos on a wall for examination.
The professor told us that we all were to disperse three dot stickers on the pictures we liked the best.
He then said: "Some students complain saying 'but students will conspire, form groups, and pool all their stickers on one photo, taking turns of who gets the automatic A (whoever gets the most stickers gets an automatic A)' and well, I guess there's nothing I can do about it. The system is vulnurable to abuse."
And he just leaves it that way.
Hmm.

There were some awesome photos - a portrait of Kayla Ramsey which was gorgeous, a creative superman shot (guy laying on the ground in a superman pose, with chalk buildings beneath him), etc. All those pictures told stories.

But no, our intelligent classmates chose pictures of a rock and some chairs and a table.
They were clear and in focus, but boring. They said nothing.
And they got 50 million stickers.
Bogus.
I guess not everyone things that pictures should be meaningful.
They can just have "cool contrast", "nice lines", and that's enough.
I disagree.
So yeah, my photo got one whole sticker.
And no, it wasn' t my own.
Lame.

It really disappointed me.
I guess I expected too much, from myself and others.

And then after we critiqued everyone's pictures, we took them down off the wall.
And as I was turning mine in amid the crowd of students, some guy said this:
"Your picture was really good - it was underestimated."
I said thank you.
I wish I had said more than that, but I was still flustered.

That made things a little better - I'm so glad that guy took the time to bestow kindness to me.
I hope I see him again to thank him properly.

And then campus safety gave me a parking violation.
I was in the spot for like, 30 minutes and there were a million other parking places around me, so it isn't like I was taking up valuable space.
Lame.

I then drove to Sonic and cried like a small, candy-denied child for no apparent reason, other than disappointment and build up of who knows that else in my subconscious.

I know that Satan is still trying to discourage me.
What a jerk.
Sheesh.

But like I said, I don't care what happens.
I am not giving up.
I still believe.
I will still try.
I have faith.

My kind deed for the day wasn't much: I smiled a lot at random people.
They probably thought I was crazy.
But oh well.
They're right - ha.

Here's hoping tomorrow's better.
I will take pictures this weekend.
And by jove I will get stickers!

"Little by little, one walks far." - Peruvian proverb

The Sound of Silence

"God's poet is silence! His song is unspoken,
and yet so profound, so loud, and so far,
It fills you, it thrills you with measures unbroken,
and as soft and as fair, and as far as the star."
- Joaquin Miller

Sometimes, God is silent.
We don't always know the reason - but do we really have to?
We are but God's servants, not His equals - we don't have the right to know His divine will unless He shares it.
And thus, today, God did not give me any incredible opportunity as he has before.

I did hold the door open for someone, but that does not really count.
It does.
But it doesn't.

I am praying for opportunities that will bespeak God's incredible power and love for humanity.
But sometimes, for reasons unknown, He does not choose to grant them.
Maybe my heart was not in the right place today, I don't know.

Another possibility is that Satan has requested of the Most High to stop giving me opportunities, and not to speak to me at all and see if I bend and fall.
Just like he did with Job.
And if that is the case, well, that snake has failed before he has even begun.

God can remain silent the rest of my life and I will not give up.
I pray that He will give me the strength to keep that promise.

Until tomorrow, good night dear readers.

"But I trust in You, O Lord. I say 'You are my God'" - Psalm 31:14

Peeper Problems

"It's amazing what you can see when you open your eyes." - Anonymous

Today was a wonderful day.
For once, nothing went wrong.
The sun shone.
It wasn't freezing cold - 61 degrees!
We sang spirituals in choir.
I made photo grams in the darkroom, which turned out great.
Spent some alone time with Ben (my brother) and laughed a lot.
Ate a blueberry bagel.

Yes, some days are void of bad stuff.
And for that, I thank God. After all that junk last week, smooth sailing is much appreciated.

And now for the kind deed of the day!

Whilst in the photo lab making my photo gram (a photo gram is when you expose an object on top of your photo paper in stead of a negative onto the photo paper - google image it), there were quite a few people doing the same thing, or exposing negatives for the assignment.
Now even though I just learned on Sunday how to do this stuff, a guy asked me for help.
I don't know why he chose me, but maybe he didn't - maybe He did :)
This guy was confused about how to do the photo gram, and thankfully I knew how to do the stuff he asked about. It was actually fun to help him, and reinforced the steps in my own mind. I could easily have said no, and shoved him in the direction of a lab assistant - but the assistant was busy helping the other students, and Someone urged me to help.
I hope that I was a kind and patient teacher!
Having done a good deed and successfully finished a project (and finally remembering the locker combination) , I was feeling pretty grand walking out of the lab.
Until I walked in on a live, video interview between Mr. Ruf, his daughter Sarah, and the video guy.
It wasn't really my fault though, because they were standing in the middle of the hallway by the doorway, so whomever was walking out of the door couldn't see what was happening until they walked into the shot.
They told me it was okay, and no big deal.
I hope they weren't lying to make me feel better.
Oh well.

I realized something else while in the darkroom, dealing with visual things and all: it really is amazing what you can see if you open your eyes. Everyone in the darkroom seemed to mind their own business, and know what they were doing. Even the guy who needed help. Taking time to help him, I realized that not all is ever as it seems.
Stepping back from the situation, a lot of other people may have need help, and not just with photo development. We all have our own personal struggles; every single person! But if we walk around blindly, we will never know what good we could have done for them.

I encourage you, my readers (if you are still there) to make it a point to look for things you can do for others. Make a conscious, sincere effort to pay more attention to people you come in contact with than your own struggles.

This quote summarizes my point exactly:
"Lose yourself in generous service and every day can be the most unusual day, a triumphant day, an abundantly rewarding day!" - William Arthur Ward

Goes Both Ways

"A kind and compassionate act is often it's own reward." - William John Bennett

So...I know, I haven't blogged in two days and I feel bad.
But I have been very, very busy this weekend!
It seems that I have been shown more kindness than I have shown, these last couple days.
I am blessed :)

So, here is a quick synopsis:

Sabbath - What a wonderful day! I was invited to Whitney and Brandon's house, (Katie's brother and his wife) for Sabbath lunch. We ate the most incredible potato/corn chowder ever, with yummy bread and LAUGHING COW CHEESE SPREAD! Yummmmmmmm. Then, Beth modeled for my photography project! We were going to make her into a boxer, with big gloves, black eye, and all. But no gloves could be found. Sigh.
BUT, we made her into an abused woman instead so we could still giver her a fake black eye :) We gave her fake cuts and bruises, and it looked pretty convincing. She did such a great job, and was SO SWEET to do it for me, since she could have been sleeping instead - haha. Then we went to Red Robin for supper, and though we college students are poor as everyone knows, I bought Beth's supper because she was so nice to model for me, especially since she had to get strange makeup put all over her!

Sunday - Most of Sunday was spent in the darkroom developing photos! It was the first time I had ever done it, so I was a little nervous. But the lab assistant, Chelsea, was the nicest person about it, and was very patient with me. Thanks to her help, I got a beautiful print that I will HOPEFULLY get an A on! Poor Brittany has to work from 2 to 10 on Sunday, so I went to get her a drink from Sonic as a kind deed, but after I arrived there, I realized I had forgotten my money! Foiled once again. :( But maybe today made up for that - ha! Also, Katie (my roommate) my the sweetest note for me, telling me I am pretty much the best lol :) I know such nice people!

Today (Monday) - In honor of MLK JR. Day, SAU has an annual Community Service Day, when students can sign up for various places to serve. This year's theme was "We serve because HE served". I went on the outreach project called West Side for Jesus, which is where students go into the projects to play with kids, go door to door, etc. But today we painted a huge room and did maintenance in the playground of a daycare center. It was so much fun - it only took us 4 hours to paint an approximately 40x40 room! When we finished, the lady that runs the place was almost in tears with gratitude, because the room had been cluttered and need of work for almost eight months - she just didn't have anyone to help her. It didn't hurt us any to take a day out of our busy week to reach out to the community! Some students don't even do it - only 600 out of almost 3000! I think that's pitiful. I think the entire student body should be involved - they even give us worship and convocation credit! If the students who didn't help could have seen the lady's face, they might have decided to help out. I then went to Sonic and bought drinks for Brittany, Ben, and Katie. And myself.

And thus, it was been very busy! But I have been blessed many times over the last couple days, and hopefully I have been part of a blessing to someone else.
I usually have some sort of deep thought for you, but I think the paint fumes clouded my mind - it isn't working very well right about now. Not to mention all the photolab chemicals yesterday!
...
I'm surprised I haven't been committed!

I leave you with a quote:
"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

How true that is!

6 days down, 100 to go :)

A Still, Small Voice

"My hope for my children, [family, friends, etc.] must be that they respond to the still, small voice of God in their own hearts." - Andrew Young

Today was a day of resolvement, and of discovery.

The past few acts of inspired kindness were highly emotional - I would feel a very strong impression to do them.
But today I found myself doing one and then realizing that I was doing it.

On the way to Superior Camera with Brittany, Ben, and our friend Nefty, it was apparent that Brittany was having some struggles with a friend. She was tired, and laid down in the back seat, with her head resting on my lap. I began to stroke her hair - all of us ladies know that it greatly reduces stress to have someone play with your hair.
It wasn't until she sat up again that I realized that I had shown her an act of kindness. It was a very simple, uncomplicated thing to do. But we do not have to hear a voice as loud as a shout or feel something - it can be the unconscious urging of the Holy Spirit.
Only four days into my challenge, and God is already helping me be unselfish!

I don't want this to seem like a self righteous thing - but I just want to share how God is working in me!

So no great stories about saving homeless people from starvation today ;)

And now Brittany is here in my room and I am feeding her fattening comfort food.

I am so glad that I have been given this opportunity!

So no ramblings about the world's problems today - simply, Happy Sabbath to you and yours.

Oh, and they fixed my camera! Yay :)

"Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy." - Exodus 20:8

A Roaring Lion

"If you stop struggling, you stop life." - Huey Newton

Today, everything was against me.
I do not want to delve into the complexity and depth of it all because it is that bad.
I don't know what I did to deserve this pain and misery.
D:

Where to begin? I will try to shorten this.
Last week, I ordered a film camera for my Intro to Photography class.
It was delayed by FedEx.
It came late.
It didn't have a battery.
I ordered a battery - overnighted it.
It didn't come.
They say they didn't get my order.
I had to explain this to my professor, who I am sure is fed up with me by now.
I am fed up with myself.
I am fed up with FedEx.
I went to Battery Plus.
I put the battery in the camera.
It worked great.
I pushed the shutter release button.
It froze.
I tried to put film in it.
It stayed frozen.
I fear I broke it.
I have to go the the darkroom on Sunday at 2.
I will never be done by then unless Superior Camera can fix my camera.

...
that leaves out many arduous details, but you get the gist.

All of this agony and stress goes to prove a point.
Satan knows about my project.
He wants to do everything in his power to stop me.
He has been throwing things like this at me all day in hopes to discourage me from my mission.
But guess what?

I AM NOT GOING TO LET HIM WIN!

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Satan wants to bog me down in feeling sorry for myself so I will stay the self-centered person that I am, and thus stifle my growth in Christ. And keep me from finishing my project.

Thank God that the day did not end there!
As I, my brother, and friend Brittany drove to Battery Plus, a homeless man was sitting on the corner. We stopped at the red light at the corner, and then, there it was - the urge to do something for him.
I thought to myself "no, he'll probably use it for alcohol or something".
And then I remember that it is not my place to predestine this man to sin - if he chooses to do that, all I can do is pray for him. I shouldn't NOT help him just because of what he MIGHT do.

And so, I hurriedly fished through my ginormous purse for my wallet fearing that the red light would soon turn to green.
We handed him the money, and he just about jumped out of his skin with gratitude.
That man would have to be the greatest actor in planet Earth's history if he secretly planned to use the money for bad things.
He told us that he had just lost his job and thus lost his home. He then proceeded to clasp his hands in prayer and say "thank you Lord", and told us that we gave him hope.
The man then ran across the street to a McDonald's.

If we had driven past that man, I would have missed out on so much.
It really is more blessing to oneself to give than receive. I felt so happy, like I had really helped someone who REALLY need it.
That is a feeling that NO HARDSHIP can keep me from pursuing.

"When difficulties are overcome, they begin blessing." - Traditional Proverb

No Gift Too Small

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." - Aesop

It's true.
We all know it.
But somehow we all forget to actually practice it.

Today I began my challenge - and first, a word or two on that:
the JIML Project requires me to do three acts of kindness during the semester ... but that seems kind of limiting. And not much to blog about.
So I have decided to make a point to pray earnestly every night before I go to sleep for God to give me the eyes to see and feel His impressions to guide me to opportunities to spread His kindness.
How many days is that? Exactly 106, the remaining days of this semester.
That is a whopping 106 opportunities (if God so chooses) for me to spread Jesus' compassion and love for each of us.

Thus, last night I prayed that prayer, asking God to open my eyes to see people as He would see them, and give me the opportunity to show them kindness. (By the way, when these opportunities present themselves, you will have the choice to say no - you will see what you could do and have a choice, thus making it a growing experience).

I went expectantly through my morning of classes: PR Principles and Theory, nothing. Writing for the Media, nothing. Life and Teachings of Jesus, nothing.
I was beginning to get discouraged (how quickly we lose faith!). I made my way through the Student Center to go downstairs to the cafeteria, when THERE IT WAS, my first opportunity.
As I opened the door to the stairwell, there before me was an old man with a cane walking slowly up the stairs that I was about to descend. As all this played out, I had the time to think to myself "do I want to help him?" and of course, I did. So guess what? I held the door for him.
Monumental, I know - ha!
But he gave me the biggest smile, and said "God bless you".
I wanted to leap down the stairs with happiness.
And I did.
And I almost took out someone with my bag.
Oops.

But what I discovered is that it is SO SIMPLE. We allow ourselves to be blinded into the state of complacency - we stop trying to be servants as Jesus did. We allow ourselves to forget. As I was standing there at the top of the stairs, it's as if time slowed down, and I had time to say yes or no to this opportunity - I could have whisked by the old man and hoped he could get the door open by himself, and I might have done just that if I hadn't asked God to show me what I could do.

My dear readers ... if you indeed exist ... do not allow yourself to "schlep along" through life. If you want to be a servant of Christ, make yourself a servant of your fellow man.
Matthew 25:40 reminds us: "(Jesus speaking) ... whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was Me - you did it to me."

And then, after I parked my car from going to Sonic (Yummmmm), I saw two precious little wrens. They were hopping around under a bush, as if they were asking me for help.
And my second impression came.
I pulled out my small order of tater tots (Side Note: Mom, I know you are horrified at this moment. I know that I should never put that much fat into my body on a weekday. But it was an incredibly stressful and looooooooooooooooooooooooong day, and as I was ordering my usual Route 44 diet Dr. Pepper with cherry and vanilla, the words "small order of tater tots" just exploded out of my mouth. But what I am about to say, you will be happy to hear.)

...as I was saying, I pulled out my tater tots from my purse, and I threw one on the ground by the bush where the birds were. They hopped over to that thing so fast it was amazing!
And then, I decided to dump the entire contents of that small tater tot container out for them.

I hope they chirped to their friends to help them, because there were at least 10 tots. That's a lot for two birds.
Maybe they were overwhelmed at God's provision and generosity for them, and initiated an "Aves Thanksgiving" of some sort. (Aves means birds).

And so, day one has come to a close. I know that athiests or agnostics would try to tell me that it was just my own conscience or set of morals.
But I know that I am a sinful and selfish human being who naturally wants to focus on myself.
And I know that I could not do one single act of kindness without God's love in my life.

Sleep well, my readers (I really hope you exist) and stay tuned for tomorrow's update :-)

The Beginning, A Very Good Place to Start

Though this is for a class, I am incredibly excited to begin this process!

I have always cherished random acts of kindness - whether it be a note in my locker or a surprise plate of cookies, kindness goes a long way.

Sadly, I am also selfish and self-centered - the world revolves around me (in my mind). I forget that others have problems too, and can also be lonely and confused.
So, my JIML (Jesus In My Life) assignment is to pray for three ideas from God for things that I can do (anonymously or not) for other people.

I have one semester to do this, and though it may seem easy, it is not.
I could simply scribble three "Smile, Jesus Loves You!" cards and be done with it, but that would be shutting myself off from this growing experience, so I am going to wait and pray for three FABULOUS ideas from God, and I know that I will be blessed as much as my unsuspecting victims.

So, my mission, SPREAD SOME SONSHINE, is fully under weigh.
Now I wait and pray.