Life is Just...Life

"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow." - Charlotte Bronte

Another weekend has slipped by, and I have failed to blog.
Yet another catch up is below.

Friday:
Writing for the Media class - digressed to discussing shorthand.
Talked about how Mrs. Ball can read/write it.
Discussed how it is a lost art.
I said we should have a shorthand class.
Class adjourned.
A girl in the class from Nigeria asked me who it was I had said knew the language.
I hurriedly told her (I have a class in 7 minutes that is a long ways up the Promenade).
She begins to tell me about her shorthand class in high school, etc.
I really needed to go, but Someone told me to stay and listen.
And I did.
I think she just needed someone to talk to; she is a long way from home.

Sabbath:
Church cancelled due to snow/ice.
Made omelets with Katie.
Took photos for Depth of Field project.
Held doors...again.
Ordered pizza.
Went to pick it up.
Delivery man took it by accident.
They doubled our order.
We have a lot of leftover pizza.
Watched Hairspray with Katie.

Today (Sunday):
Homework.
Reading.
Homework.
Reading.
Homework.
Reading.
Photo lab.
3 hours later, scratched result.
Have no idea how it happened.
Neither did two lab assistants.
Have lame picture to turn in.
Probably won't get any dots.
Whatever.

And so, here I am.
Depressed.
Discouraged.
Restless.
Worn out.
Fed up.
Bleh.

It has been less than a month this school year, and I'm already discouraged.
Is that pathetic?
Yeah, probably.
But I can't help it.
I am usually a very positive, extroverted person.
So when things go wrong, it sends me down fast.
Such is the lot in life for a part-sanguine.
I hope for a the ridiculous: for things to go right at all the time.

That will never happen until we finally get out of this world.
Only when we are finally free from the constant oppressive struggle.
I am just ready to go home.

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that just cannot be." - Anonymous

Spectators Beware

"Since when do we have to agree with everyone all the time?" - Lillian Hellman

Well.

Today has been infuriating.
And saddening.
And embarrassing.
And just...GAH!

Yep, you guessed it.
Photography was terrible.

I am sorry to rant again.
But the "dotting" system blew up again.
I have decided there are a lot of ... how should I put this kindly ... maybe a little inexperienced people in the class. I think they just honestly don't know what to look for in the assignments given.
I could say names.
But because I am not wanting this to be spiteful, I will not.
I know I must seem whiny by bringing this up again.
But I can't help it.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
So, anyways.
I will say that is was a little better this time.
But still retarded.
My fellow colleagues chose a picture of a building (my goodness, what creativity! imagine, looking up at a building! ... sheesh) and an image of a gun with bullets, which by the way, were at the exact same level as the camera.
THAT ISN'T EVEN WHAT THE ASSIGNMENT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And praise God, our professor brought that up - he said that it would have been perfect for the Depth of Field assignment.
Amen and amen.
Thus, that class has a lot of jug heads.
All the good photographs were left behind!
I can't even say how many awesome pictures weren't even mentioned.
INJUSTICE.

And then , to top that off, an article appeared in the Accent today written by a very disgruntled young Chattanoogan (is that right?) railing Adventists and grouping us into a giant stereotype.
Here is the link:
http://accent.cs.southern.edu/?p=1806

And THEN I wasted two hours in the lab by developing photos that didn't even turn out! (thank goodness they were only an extra credit project, not an assignment, and I can do it again)

BUT, I did do something nice today: I brought a surprise Sonic drink to Brittany while she was working at WSMC 90.5 :D
She liked it.

I don't understand how some people just float through life and don't care about these issues.
They don't care that amazing photographs are overlooked in a class.
They don't care that some people think Adventists are cheap, fake, and stupid.
They don't care that a left-wing, socialist freak and his goons are ruining our country.
They don't' care that Jesus is coming soon, and think it is silly to believe in something they can't see.
They don't' care.
I don't' get it.
I cannot sit by and watch these injustices.
I can't.
God didn't make me that way.
So you can think I am whiny.
You can think I overreact.
I just know that I want to change things for the better.
And I will do whatever I have to in order to accomplish it.

"Up, sluggard, waste not life! In the grave will be sleeping enough!" - Benjamin Franklin

A Single Sunbeam

"A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows." - St. Francis of Assisi

Today, fulfillment came.

I didn't just hold a door for someone.

I really made (hopefully) a difference.

To begin:

I went to the cafe to get lunch to go.

As I was walking past the area where people leave their trays when they have finished eating, a girl carrying her dirty plate and many other things (and seemingly in a hurry) dropped several used napkins.

They looked quite disgusting.

I could have picked them up for her.

I thought about it.

But...

I didn't.

"I failed. I can't believe I just walked right by. I am a failure. I should just give up."

That's what I was thinking to myself as I descended the stairs to the outdoors.

But God heard me.

He pulled me out of a "slough of despondency".

My RA was coming up Rachel's Ladder (for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a outdoor long line of stairs that go from the bottom of Wright Hall and connect to the Promenade).

She was carrying a lot of things, and in a hurry.

She tried to take too many steps at a time, which we all do on those stairs because they are so short.

She tripped, and fell down.

I was right next to her going the opposite way.

And praise God, her water bottle rolled right over to me.

I picked it up, helped her up, and said "it's okay, I have done that same thing many a time".

She seemed thankful, but she could not have been as thankful as me.

I know God sent her to me - I am sorry she had to fall down, but I am so glad that God gave me that opportunity.

I know that he isn't done with me.

He can still use me.

Maybe this seems silly to some.

Maybe you say "why is she even doing this?"

Well, we all have our different ways of feeling useful.

This is mine.

And then I went to Sonic.

And then I went to Marriage and Family class.

And our professor showed a little clip from I Love Lucy (the best television show that has ever been created) to illustrate the 1950's way of thinking about gender roles.

And then I ate Honey Sunshine cereal.

And life is okay.

We shall see what tomorrow holds, for tomorrow we turn in our next photos...

oh boy.

"When the world says 'give up', God whispers 'try one more time...'" - Anonymous

'Rising Above' is Hard

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey

I don't even know where to begin with today.

Still no major inspirations of kindness.

Went to photography class.

Got back the grade for our first photo.

The professor said he understood where I was going, but thought it was, and I quote:

"...the lip was distracting...her arm looked abnormally large...don't set up your subjects in such a theatrical way...it is easier ... to shoot subjects as they naturally appear."

Well, that is all well and good, Mr. Professor.

But isn't fashion or awareness photography all about theatrics?

Dramatizing a subject is fine.

Portraying injustices in the world should be commendable, not "theatrical".

This assignment was entitled "our choice".

That means we get to shoot whatever we want.

I wanted to take a photo of something that actually spoke, not something that just had "cool contrast".

And her lip was part of her injuries.

And her arm is just incredibly buff.

Beth is a crazy athlete.

So there.

I apologize for using this blog as a rant, but it just happens.

It helps me get it out of my system.

Continuing with the day:

I went to the darkroom, and made a really cool print of my brother playing his tuba for our "Dramatic Angles" project. (You can find it on my facebook)

I think it's awesome.

I hope I get more stickers.

Is that selfish?

Probably.

My kind deed for the day was not much of anything; I said a few nice things about other peoples' prints.

Those soul-feeding experiences still elude me.

Sigh.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Bewildering Thicket

"We must be willing to to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

So here I am, at the end of another day.

Lost in a bewildering thicket.

I'm not sure why the excitement I had for this project was so incredible in the beginning, and how I am now so complacent.

That's how it is with Christianity in general, I suppose.

We are energized in the beginning, but lose our fervor as the weeks slip by.

You all know why, don't you?

So God can give us the learning experience of FAITH.

Without faith, we lose interest in our projects or our religion, and give up.

Exactly what Satan has in mind.

But God still beckons us to have faith in Him, and to trust in His existence.

Why he puts up with our childish fickleness, I have no idea.

Aren't you glad He is so patient? I know I am!

So today, I held the door for an old man.

He was grateful.

Sad to say, I was still despondent.

And still am a bit.

But I still refuse to believe that God gave me an idea such as this to leave me in a place such as this.

I know that incredible experiences will come, and I will gladly wait.

I never get tired of holding doors.

"Where hope grows, miracles blossom." -Elna Rae

Catch Up

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope." - Alexandre Dumas Pere

I need to get better at doing this on the weekend.

Sorry for the delay.

I went home this weekend, so that was wonderful ... and diverting as well.
So I will catch you up.

Friday: Class. Packed. Drove home. Held the door open for people.

Sabbath: Helped fix lunch for 11 guests. Ate like a pig.

Sunday: Mom got called to work at 6:30 am. Dad drove her. I rode with them. Homework. Homework. Homework. Laundry. Homework. Mom came home early :D Wal*Mart. Drove home. Unpacked. Sleep.

And there you have it.
Nothing monumental.

But maybe it doesn't have to be.
Well, I know it doesn't have to be huge.
But still.
I want it to be.
Is that wrong?

I hope not.

Will tell you about today later tonight :)

Stickers and Such

"I don't think I should be underestimated." - Lindsay Davenport

John/Jane Doe:
"Yeah, I know Rachel Parrish.
She's pretty, but not beautiful.
She takes good pictures, but not of what I want to see.
She could be a leader, but she doesn't have good enough grades for it.
She sings well, but she doesn't know technical things.
She's smart, but she didn't make a perfect score on the ACT.
She's fun to be with, but I don't want to confide in her because she might tell me something I don't want to hear.
She's nice, but she's too conservative to be 'cool'.
She tries, but her contributions are subjective.


This is the story of my life.
Denied. Refused. Denied. Refused. Denied.

I'm never quite good enough.
Why?
People look right past me.
They walk right by my photographs and say "Oh, well there's a portrait of someone".
NO.
It tells a story, genius.
The girl has a black eye. And a busted lip. She is abused. Her eyes are haunting.
But no, to some, it's just a portrait.
"There are none so blind as those who will not see." - Gregory Y. Titelman

To some, I'm just some girl that tries to change too many things for their comfort level.

If you are confused, which I wouldn' t surprised about and I apologize, here is the story:

Today our photographs were due for Intro to Photography class.
Mine was a photo of a friend who we had made into an abused woman.
The photo was powerful. People told me so.
It had a story.
We put our photos on a wall for examination.
The professor told us that we all were to disperse three dot stickers on the pictures we liked the best.
He then said: "Some students complain saying 'but students will conspire, form groups, and pool all their stickers on one photo, taking turns of who gets the automatic A (whoever gets the most stickers gets an automatic A)' and well, I guess there's nothing I can do about it. The system is vulnurable to abuse."
And he just leaves it that way.
Hmm.

There were some awesome photos - a portrait of Kayla Ramsey which was gorgeous, a creative superman shot (guy laying on the ground in a superman pose, with chalk buildings beneath him), etc. All those pictures told stories.

But no, our intelligent classmates chose pictures of a rock and some chairs and a table.
They were clear and in focus, but boring. They said nothing.
And they got 50 million stickers.
Bogus.
I guess not everyone things that pictures should be meaningful.
They can just have "cool contrast", "nice lines", and that's enough.
I disagree.
So yeah, my photo got one whole sticker.
And no, it wasn' t my own.
Lame.

It really disappointed me.
I guess I expected too much, from myself and others.

And then after we critiqued everyone's pictures, we took them down off the wall.
And as I was turning mine in amid the crowd of students, some guy said this:
"Your picture was really good - it was underestimated."
I said thank you.
I wish I had said more than that, but I was still flustered.

That made things a little better - I'm so glad that guy took the time to bestow kindness to me.
I hope I see him again to thank him properly.

And then campus safety gave me a parking violation.
I was in the spot for like, 30 minutes and there were a million other parking places around me, so it isn't like I was taking up valuable space.
Lame.

I then drove to Sonic and cried like a small, candy-denied child for no apparent reason, other than disappointment and build up of who knows that else in my subconscious.

I know that Satan is still trying to discourage me.
What a jerk.
Sheesh.

But like I said, I don't care what happens.
I am not giving up.
I still believe.
I will still try.
I have faith.

My kind deed for the day wasn't much: I smiled a lot at random people.
They probably thought I was crazy.
But oh well.
They're right - ha.

Here's hoping tomorrow's better.
I will take pictures this weekend.
And by jove I will get stickers!

"Little by little, one walks far." - Peruvian proverb

The Sound of Silence

"God's poet is silence! His song is unspoken,
and yet so profound, so loud, and so far,
It fills you, it thrills you with measures unbroken,
and as soft and as fair, and as far as the star."
- Joaquin Miller

Sometimes, God is silent.
We don't always know the reason - but do we really have to?
We are but God's servants, not His equals - we don't have the right to know His divine will unless He shares it.
And thus, today, God did not give me any incredible opportunity as he has before.

I did hold the door open for someone, but that does not really count.
It does.
But it doesn't.

I am praying for opportunities that will bespeak God's incredible power and love for humanity.
But sometimes, for reasons unknown, He does not choose to grant them.
Maybe my heart was not in the right place today, I don't know.

Another possibility is that Satan has requested of the Most High to stop giving me opportunities, and not to speak to me at all and see if I bend and fall.
Just like he did with Job.
And if that is the case, well, that snake has failed before he has even begun.

God can remain silent the rest of my life and I will not give up.
I pray that He will give me the strength to keep that promise.

Until tomorrow, good night dear readers.

"But I trust in You, O Lord. I say 'You are my God'" - Psalm 31:14

Peeper Problems

"It's amazing what you can see when you open your eyes." - Anonymous

Today was a wonderful day.
For once, nothing went wrong.
The sun shone.
It wasn't freezing cold - 61 degrees!
We sang spirituals in choir.
I made photo grams in the darkroom, which turned out great.
Spent some alone time with Ben (my brother) and laughed a lot.
Ate a blueberry bagel.

Yes, some days are void of bad stuff.
And for that, I thank God. After all that junk last week, smooth sailing is much appreciated.

And now for the kind deed of the day!

Whilst in the photo lab making my photo gram (a photo gram is when you expose an object on top of your photo paper in stead of a negative onto the photo paper - google image it), there were quite a few people doing the same thing, or exposing negatives for the assignment.
Now even though I just learned on Sunday how to do this stuff, a guy asked me for help.
I don't know why he chose me, but maybe he didn't - maybe He did :)
This guy was confused about how to do the photo gram, and thankfully I knew how to do the stuff he asked about. It was actually fun to help him, and reinforced the steps in my own mind. I could easily have said no, and shoved him in the direction of a lab assistant - but the assistant was busy helping the other students, and Someone urged me to help.
I hope that I was a kind and patient teacher!
Having done a good deed and successfully finished a project (and finally remembering the locker combination) , I was feeling pretty grand walking out of the lab.
Until I walked in on a live, video interview between Mr. Ruf, his daughter Sarah, and the video guy.
It wasn't really my fault though, because they were standing in the middle of the hallway by the doorway, so whomever was walking out of the door couldn't see what was happening until they walked into the shot.
They told me it was okay, and no big deal.
I hope they weren't lying to make me feel better.
Oh well.

I realized something else while in the darkroom, dealing with visual things and all: it really is amazing what you can see if you open your eyes. Everyone in the darkroom seemed to mind their own business, and know what they were doing. Even the guy who needed help. Taking time to help him, I realized that not all is ever as it seems.
Stepping back from the situation, a lot of other people may have need help, and not just with photo development. We all have our own personal struggles; every single person! But if we walk around blindly, we will never know what good we could have done for them.

I encourage you, my readers (if you are still there) to make it a point to look for things you can do for others. Make a conscious, sincere effort to pay more attention to people you come in contact with than your own struggles.

This quote summarizes my point exactly:
"Lose yourself in generous service and every day can be the most unusual day, a triumphant day, an abundantly rewarding day!" - William Arthur Ward

Goes Both Ways

"A kind and compassionate act is often it's own reward." - William John Bennett

So...I know, I haven't blogged in two days and I feel bad.
But I have been very, very busy this weekend!
It seems that I have been shown more kindness than I have shown, these last couple days.
I am blessed :)

So, here is a quick synopsis:

Sabbath - What a wonderful day! I was invited to Whitney and Brandon's house, (Katie's brother and his wife) for Sabbath lunch. We ate the most incredible potato/corn chowder ever, with yummy bread and LAUGHING COW CHEESE SPREAD! Yummmmmmmm. Then, Beth modeled for my photography project! We were going to make her into a boxer, with big gloves, black eye, and all. But no gloves could be found. Sigh.
BUT, we made her into an abused woman instead so we could still giver her a fake black eye :) We gave her fake cuts and bruises, and it looked pretty convincing. She did such a great job, and was SO SWEET to do it for me, since she could have been sleeping instead - haha. Then we went to Red Robin for supper, and though we college students are poor as everyone knows, I bought Beth's supper because she was so nice to model for me, especially since she had to get strange makeup put all over her!

Sunday - Most of Sunday was spent in the darkroom developing photos! It was the first time I had ever done it, so I was a little nervous. But the lab assistant, Chelsea, was the nicest person about it, and was very patient with me. Thanks to her help, I got a beautiful print that I will HOPEFULLY get an A on! Poor Brittany has to work from 2 to 10 on Sunday, so I went to get her a drink from Sonic as a kind deed, but after I arrived there, I realized I had forgotten my money! Foiled once again. :( But maybe today made up for that - ha! Also, Katie (my roommate) my the sweetest note for me, telling me I am pretty much the best lol :) I know such nice people!

Today (Monday) - In honor of MLK JR. Day, SAU has an annual Community Service Day, when students can sign up for various places to serve. This year's theme was "We serve because HE served". I went on the outreach project called West Side for Jesus, which is where students go into the projects to play with kids, go door to door, etc. But today we painted a huge room and did maintenance in the playground of a daycare center. It was so much fun - it only took us 4 hours to paint an approximately 40x40 room! When we finished, the lady that runs the place was almost in tears with gratitude, because the room had been cluttered and need of work for almost eight months - she just didn't have anyone to help her. It didn't hurt us any to take a day out of our busy week to reach out to the community! Some students don't even do it - only 600 out of almost 3000! I think that's pitiful. I think the entire student body should be involved - they even give us worship and convocation credit! If the students who didn't help could have seen the lady's face, they might have decided to help out. I then went to Sonic and bought drinks for Brittany, Ben, and Katie. And myself.

And thus, it was been very busy! But I have been blessed many times over the last couple days, and hopefully I have been part of a blessing to someone else.
I usually have some sort of deep thought for you, but I think the paint fumes clouded my mind - it isn't working very well right about now. Not to mention all the photolab chemicals yesterday!
...
I'm surprised I haven't been committed!

I leave you with a quote:
"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

How true that is!

6 days down, 100 to go :)

A Still, Small Voice

"My hope for my children, [family, friends, etc.] must be that they respond to the still, small voice of God in their own hearts." - Andrew Young

Today was a day of resolvement, and of discovery.

The past few acts of inspired kindness were highly emotional - I would feel a very strong impression to do them.
But today I found myself doing one and then realizing that I was doing it.

On the way to Superior Camera with Brittany, Ben, and our friend Nefty, it was apparent that Brittany was having some struggles with a friend. She was tired, and laid down in the back seat, with her head resting on my lap. I began to stroke her hair - all of us ladies know that it greatly reduces stress to have someone play with your hair.
It wasn't until she sat up again that I realized that I had shown her an act of kindness. It was a very simple, uncomplicated thing to do. But we do not have to hear a voice as loud as a shout or feel something - it can be the unconscious urging of the Holy Spirit.
Only four days into my challenge, and God is already helping me be unselfish!

I don't want this to seem like a self righteous thing - but I just want to share how God is working in me!

So no great stories about saving homeless people from starvation today ;)

And now Brittany is here in my room and I am feeding her fattening comfort food.

I am so glad that I have been given this opportunity!

So no ramblings about the world's problems today - simply, Happy Sabbath to you and yours.

Oh, and they fixed my camera! Yay :)

"Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy." - Exodus 20:8

A Roaring Lion

"If you stop struggling, you stop life." - Huey Newton

Today, everything was against me.
I do not want to delve into the complexity and depth of it all because it is that bad.
I don't know what I did to deserve this pain and misery.
D:

Where to begin? I will try to shorten this.
Last week, I ordered a film camera for my Intro to Photography class.
It was delayed by FedEx.
It came late.
It didn't have a battery.
I ordered a battery - overnighted it.
It didn't come.
They say they didn't get my order.
I had to explain this to my professor, who I am sure is fed up with me by now.
I am fed up with myself.
I am fed up with FedEx.
I went to Battery Plus.
I put the battery in the camera.
It worked great.
I pushed the shutter release button.
It froze.
I tried to put film in it.
It stayed frozen.
I fear I broke it.
I have to go the the darkroom on Sunday at 2.
I will never be done by then unless Superior Camera can fix my camera.

...
that leaves out many arduous details, but you get the gist.

All of this agony and stress goes to prove a point.
Satan knows about my project.
He wants to do everything in his power to stop me.
He has been throwing things like this at me all day in hopes to discourage me from my mission.
But guess what?

I AM NOT GOING TO LET HIM WIN!

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Satan wants to bog me down in feeling sorry for myself so I will stay the self-centered person that I am, and thus stifle my growth in Christ. And keep me from finishing my project.

Thank God that the day did not end there!
As I, my brother, and friend Brittany drove to Battery Plus, a homeless man was sitting on the corner. We stopped at the red light at the corner, and then, there it was - the urge to do something for him.
I thought to myself "no, he'll probably use it for alcohol or something".
And then I remember that it is not my place to predestine this man to sin - if he chooses to do that, all I can do is pray for him. I shouldn't NOT help him just because of what he MIGHT do.

And so, I hurriedly fished through my ginormous purse for my wallet fearing that the red light would soon turn to green.
We handed him the money, and he just about jumped out of his skin with gratitude.
That man would have to be the greatest actor in planet Earth's history if he secretly planned to use the money for bad things.
He told us that he had just lost his job and thus lost his home. He then proceeded to clasp his hands in prayer and say "thank you Lord", and told us that we gave him hope.
The man then ran across the street to a McDonald's.

If we had driven past that man, I would have missed out on so much.
It really is more blessing to oneself to give than receive. I felt so happy, like I had really helped someone who REALLY need it.
That is a feeling that NO HARDSHIP can keep me from pursuing.

"When difficulties are overcome, they begin blessing." - Traditional Proverb

No Gift Too Small

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." - Aesop

It's true.
We all know it.
But somehow we all forget to actually practice it.

Today I began my challenge - and first, a word or two on that:
the JIML Project requires me to do three acts of kindness during the semester ... but that seems kind of limiting. And not much to blog about.
So I have decided to make a point to pray earnestly every night before I go to sleep for God to give me the eyes to see and feel His impressions to guide me to opportunities to spread His kindness.
How many days is that? Exactly 106, the remaining days of this semester.
That is a whopping 106 opportunities (if God so chooses) for me to spread Jesus' compassion and love for each of us.

Thus, last night I prayed that prayer, asking God to open my eyes to see people as He would see them, and give me the opportunity to show them kindness. (By the way, when these opportunities present themselves, you will have the choice to say no - you will see what you could do and have a choice, thus making it a growing experience).

I went expectantly through my morning of classes: PR Principles and Theory, nothing. Writing for the Media, nothing. Life and Teachings of Jesus, nothing.
I was beginning to get discouraged (how quickly we lose faith!). I made my way through the Student Center to go downstairs to the cafeteria, when THERE IT WAS, my first opportunity.
As I opened the door to the stairwell, there before me was an old man with a cane walking slowly up the stairs that I was about to descend. As all this played out, I had the time to think to myself "do I want to help him?" and of course, I did. So guess what? I held the door for him.
Monumental, I know - ha!
But he gave me the biggest smile, and said "God bless you".
I wanted to leap down the stairs with happiness.
And I did.
And I almost took out someone with my bag.
Oops.

But what I discovered is that it is SO SIMPLE. We allow ourselves to be blinded into the state of complacency - we stop trying to be servants as Jesus did. We allow ourselves to forget. As I was standing there at the top of the stairs, it's as if time slowed down, and I had time to say yes or no to this opportunity - I could have whisked by the old man and hoped he could get the door open by himself, and I might have done just that if I hadn't asked God to show me what I could do.

My dear readers ... if you indeed exist ... do not allow yourself to "schlep along" through life. If you want to be a servant of Christ, make yourself a servant of your fellow man.
Matthew 25:40 reminds us: "(Jesus speaking) ... whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was Me - you did it to me."

And then, after I parked my car from going to Sonic (Yummmmm), I saw two precious little wrens. They were hopping around under a bush, as if they were asking me for help.
And my second impression came.
I pulled out my small order of tater tots (Side Note: Mom, I know you are horrified at this moment. I know that I should never put that much fat into my body on a weekday. But it was an incredibly stressful and looooooooooooooooooooooooong day, and as I was ordering my usual Route 44 diet Dr. Pepper with cherry and vanilla, the words "small order of tater tots" just exploded out of my mouth. But what I am about to say, you will be happy to hear.)

...as I was saying, I pulled out my tater tots from my purse, and I threw one on the ground by the bush where the birds were. They hopped over to that thing so fast it was amazing!
And then, I decided to dump the entire contents of that small tater tot container out for them.

I hope they chirped to their friends to help them, because there were at least 10 tots. That's a lot for two birds.
Maybe they were overwhelmed at God's provision and generosity for them, and initiated an "Aves Thanksgiving" of some sort. (Aves means birds).

And so, day one has come to a close. I know that athiests or agnostics would try to tell me that it was just my own conscience or set of morals.
But I know that I am a sinful and selfish human being who naturally wants to focus on myself.
And I know that I could not do one single act of kindness without God's love in my life.

Sleep well, my readers (I really hope you exist) and stay tuned for tomorrow's update :-)

The Beginning, A Very Good Place to Start

Though this is for a class, I am incredibly excited to begin this process!

I have always cherished random acts of kindness - whether it be a note in my locker or a surprise plate of cookies, kindness goes a long way.

Sadly, I am also selfish and self-centered - the world revolves around me (in my mind). I forget that others have problems too, and can also be lonely and confused.
So, my JIML (Jesus In My Life) assignment is to pray for three ideas from God for things that I can do (anonymously or not) for other people.

I have one semester to do this, and though it may seem easy, it is not.
I could simply scribble three "Smile, Jesus Loves You!" cards and be done with it, but that would be shutting myself off from this growing experience, so I am going to wait and pray for three FABULOUS ideas from God, and I know that I will be blessed as much as my unsuspecting victims.

So, my mission, SPREAD SOME SONSHINE, is fully under weigh.
Now I wait and pray.