The Master Gardener

"How soon 'not now' becomes never." - Martin Luther

Indeed.

Well, here I am.
A full week behind in my blog.
Yes, a break was upon we Southern students, and I actually did not intend to take a break from my blog, but you all know how breaks are for getting things done.

Therefore, I am left to beg your pardon once again for my lack of resolve.

I had quite a break.
The weekend of February 26 was spent mostly at the Madison Campus Church.
A faith summit was held by the Amazing Facts ministry, with Pastor Doug Batchelor presenting.
I got to meet him, and shake his hand.
He is indeed shorter than he appears on tv.
However, he is a wonderful speaker - and said a great deal of things we need to hear.
One thing he said that particularly struck me was that we "sin by proxy".
2 Corinthians 5:10 tells us to tear down the structures of sin we erect in our lives - that includes, I believe, perhaps not participating in acts that are sin, but watching or listening to people who do them, and being entertained by it.

On Sunday, my family and I went to St. Louis!
We ate at Sweet Tomatoe's twice, and went up the arch.
It was wonderful.

And then we returned home to laze around and do nothing.

And now I am back here in my cell...er...dorm room.

We had an interesting discussion in Life and Teachings today.
I am sure you are acquainted with the likening of sin to a weed.
And anyone who has gardened knows that some weeds are easy to root out.
But others...others linger.
Other weeds' roots snap off in the soil, and germinate therein again.
You need a special tool to get that sort of weed completely out (and the easy weeds, I might add).
And that, I believe to be God's forgiveness.
We are incapable of pulling out the objectionable creeper on our own.
We try and try and try, and still that despicable seedling rises again.
We need God's strength and know-how to get rid of it entirely.

He is the Master Gardener.
Let us learn from His "green thumb".

"I always think about sins when I weed. They grow apace in the same way and are harder still to get rid of." - Helena Rutherford

Voracious Vexation

"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its worries, but empties today of its strength."

- Charles Spurgeon

I hate worrying about everything.

I worry, worry, worry all of the time.

I worry about tests.

I worry about projects.

I worry about people.

I worry about safety.

I worry about our country.

You name it, and I worry about it.

I think I am slightly paranoid.

Or something.

Whatever it is, I waste my precious brain-power worrying about possible negative occurrences our outcomes, and it is just pointless.

I am sure I am not the only one who does this.

Let's remember that there is nothing we can do to control the future.

We just have to trust that Jesus will help us through it, not matter what happens.

And I bought Sonic for Brittany today.

"For peace of mind, resign as General Manager of the Universe." - Anonymous

Bending and Twisting

"Stand up and walk out of your history." - Phil McGraw

Today was quite a day.
Where do I even begin?

Well, for starters, we are discussing homosexuality in my Marriage & Family class.
And our professor brought in a guest today.
And guess what?
He was gay.
And he told us all about why we should accept gay people.
He told us he has been living with a partner for 11 years.
Here are some interesting quotes from said gay man (didn't catch his name):
"Believe me - I tried everything to make myself straight, but I couldn't deny who I am."
"I was raped when I was three...I have known I was gay since I was little."
"I don't think life is supposed to be miserable - I think we should be happy."
"I believe in Jesus Christ."
"Some people go their whole lives without knowing true love; it's a shame - why should gay people not experience it?"
"I have decided to accept who I am..."
"I think there is a lot in the Bible that has been written by men, not God ... I think there is a lot that isn't of God..."

Interesting, huh?
He allowed questions at the end...but I couldn't just ask him my questions without losing my cool.

And so, as he spoke, I jotted down some interesting thoughts of my own.

"Maybe you did try to rehabilitate yourself to become straight. But do you know that being gay isn't something you are born in to? Do you not believe that it is something satan uses for our destruction? Do you refuse to believe that because then you would have to struggle with yourself every single day to deal with it and still be accountable to God?"

"Yes, a horrible, terrible, inconceivably bad thing happened to you. I cannot begin to imagine to know what it has been like living with that. But then you said you knew you were gay when you were little...do you think your rape had nothing to do with that 'discovery'? Do you know that in a recent study, 7 out of 8 people who identified themselves as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual had rape, alcoholism, etc. in their past, usually childhood? Do you really believe this originated in your brain by some abnormality in your DNA? Since you believe in things beyond our own planet, you therefore do believe that there is an evil force in our world - and you also believe he had nothing to do with your pain and struggles with yourself?"

"Who said life is supposed to be happy all the time? Through Jesus, yes, we can have hope in a future beyond our own stunted lives - that should make us happy. But does that mean we get to do whatever we want and 'be happy' all the time?"

"You believe in Jesus Christ? Maybe you believe in part of Him. You can only serve two masters. No, I am not perfect. I have my own struggles, we all have our own problems. But we can learn from each other. You do not know everything. You, like everyone else, needs Jesus' cleansing blood. But we cannot pick and choose which teachings we want to believe."

"Yeah, some people do go their whole entire lives without knowing romantic love. That can disappoint our human nature, our human desire to fulfill that kind of need. But what is more important than that love? Following God's commands - He loves us more than any human ever could. Shouldn't we, out of love, serve Him first, not our human desires?"

"You have decided to accept who you are? You've given up! I can't imagine going my entire life struggling with something like that, and why God allowed that to happen to you, I cannot answer. But I can see that He allowed it to test your trust and reliance in Him and His word. But living an entire life fighting something like that would be hard - apparently too hard for you. You have stopped fighting it because it's easier. No, it won't ever go away. But that doesn't mean that God's commands do."

"Unfortunately, you believe those commands were put into the Bible by men, therefore justifying your decision. How can something be so clear to me, yet so unfounded to you? I cannot explain it any more, I can only hope that you change your mind."

Whew.
If I had been speaking with him alone, I might have said these things to him.
But I feel inadequate to try and dissuade him - I feel like someone with more religious ability than me should confront people about issues like these.
I am still growing and learning.
If you disagree with me, please leave your comments.

And after that, I went to Sonic.
And the lady who brought my drink was crying, for heaven's sake!
She said she had a terrible toothache, but they were short workers, and couldn't find any to take her shift, so she had to stay there instead of go to the doctor.
I wish I could have been bold enough to barge in there and advocate for her.
But I told her I was sorry she was in pain, and I hoped she would feel better.
I am a mouse.
And I didn't even think to pray with her.

Like I said, I am not prepared.
I am selfish.
Totally focused on me, me, me.
But I am willing to change and grow.
That makes the difference.

"You can bend it and twist it. You can misuse it and abuse it. But even God can't change the truth." - Michael Levy

Speaking a Dead Language

"Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression." - Dodie Smith

Sometimes I don't feel like myself.
That means I don't feel like rehashing my days.
Some days I just don't care.
And that's not like me, yet it's a part of me anyway.
I don't get it.

Wednesday (Feb. 17):
Katie and I kept Levi's girlfriend, Anna, in our room for a few days while she attended the Honor Choir Festival.
That was kind, right?
Sure.

Thursday (Feb. 18):
Took photography midterm.
Didn't whine about it.
That was kind, right?
Why not?

Friday (Feb. 19):
Let people cut me off in traffic without yelling at them...to myself.
Whee.

Sabbath (Feb. 20)
Went to Honor Choir concert...though I wanted to sleep.
It was awesome.
They did great.
Made me miss the olden days.

Today:
Held some doors.
Bought Sonic drinks.
Impulsively bought 10 songs on iTunes.
The Creamy Bean was closed.
Whatever.

I just want to be happy.
I just want to be done with this.
I just want to go home.
I'm done.
But I won't give up.
I wasn't raised that way.
I will ignore my self-pity and deal with it.
Whatever.
I don't even make sense any more.
Whatever.

"One can't complain. I have my friends. Someone spoke to me only yesterday." - Eeyore

Happiness

"The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it." - Richard Bach

Today, I decided to be happy.

Having a good or bad day is a choice, not an uncontrollable circumstance.

It is okay to be happy - some people think that being happy is a sin.
I don't know why, because the Bible tells us to "rejoice and be glad".

I held more doors today.
And instead of being upset that I didn't have some divine inspiration, I decided to be content.

"If you want to be happy, well, be happy!" - Leo Tolstoy

OVER IT

"Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing." - Lao Tzu

And now, another catch up, brought to you by College-Students-Have-No-Lives-Outside-of-School Incorporated.

Friday:
Gave out Valentines gifts to various family and friends.
Stayed night at crazy-cat-lady Aunt Evie's house.
Had three fluffy kitties snuggle with me.

Sabbath:
Left house by 8:45 am.
Held precarious strawberry dessert prepared by Aunt Evie's boyfriend (thus, if I dropped it, I was dead meat) as she flew across the potholes and ice in her usual 30 mph-over-the-speed-limit way, in my new dressy cream colored coat.
Whew.
Gave brownies and Valentine's card to 90-year-old Great Aunt Blanche, and brought her to church.
Helped Mommy prepare Sabbath lunch.
Ate like a starved pig.
Went to brother's Wind Symphony concert - AWESOME.
Ate Mexican food at 10 pm.

Sunday:
BEST.DAY.EVER.
Slept in.
Got coffee with a brain buzz shot.
Drove with Mommy and Daddy to Atlanta.
Ate at Sweet Tomatoe's.
Went shopping.
Spent too much money.
Came back :(
Held doors.

Today: A Typical Monday
Class.
Class.
Class.
Held more doors.
Class.
Class.
Homework.
Worship.
Filled out survey.
...
Whee.

I think I am just ready for a break.
Midterm is quickly approaching.
But that's not enough.
I just want to be done and go home.
And do things I want to do.
Like...walk through long, sweet green grass.
Look up and see cerulean sky.
And white fluffy marshmallow clouds.
And feel a cool, lingering breeze.
And lay on a soft, fluffy, pink blanket.
And draw faces.
And watch I Love Lucy with my Mom.
And discuss politics with my Dad.

Life is never what we want it to be.

"I'm over it." - Evelyn Howe

Where Does the Good Go?

"Don't be yourself - be someone nicer." - Mignon McLaughlin

I have a high distaste for people that think they know everything.

I have an even higher distaste for people who say mean things about people, thinking they get away with it.

No matter how secret your words, someone always hears.

It just sickens me to see people act so ... heartless.

Today, in Photography class, we were discussing some of the photos - what we liked or disliked.

We have a couple guys in our class who like to speak up a lot.

One "knows everything".

And the other seems to genuinely want others to realize things about a picture, by pointing out things. He does it quite often, and he seems a bit different.

But does that mean we can give each other knowing looks, snickers, and whispered "he is so weird"s, like I saw a few of my classmates doing?

I know we all do it.

I do it without thinking too.

But God showed me today just how ugly it is.

How did we become so cruel?

When did we stop caring, and stop being nice even when we don't want to?

Have we really become that selfish?

Let us not forget that other people have feelings too - everyone wants to feel needed and wanted.

You may not like someone very much, but it is our duty and just common courtesy to overlook our negativity, and treat people how they should be treated.

Aside from that, my kind act today was sending a Valentine's Day card to my little almost-three-year-old cousin, Aubree.

It was a lion that had soft, fluffy fabric stuff as a mane, and said "You're the best Valentine ever - no lion!"

Precious.

"Kindness is in our power - even when fondness is not." - Samuel Johnson