Sleepswimming

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." - Beverly Sills

As a college student, you get to the point where you can't think anymore.

This usually happens in the final three weeks of school (like we are in now) and only accelerates in urgency and voracity as the days slip by.
Poor seniors have this disease times a million, for they move on to becoming "real adults", not just a summer and then another year of school.

If you are a college student like me (attention high school students: please hear me - I thought I was busy a year ago at this time...no, no. I was mistaken. I don't want to scare you, I really don't. But prepare now. Don't think you can go off to college and have fun all the time. DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO THAT DELUSION. PREPARE NOW.) you feel like you are being tossed about in a sea of assignments, drowned by tidal waves of reports, labs, essays, and the list goes on and on.

At least that is how I feel.
Drowned and brain dead.

I am so pitiful, I have forgotten to pray for an opportunity to act kindly.
Yes.
I have failed.
I have not done this every day like I wanted.
But sometimes, a report unfortunately takes precedence over happiness.
Isn't that sad?
Seems unjust and wrong.
So after this literal hell of "Hey fellow professors, let's kill the students!" is over,
I PLEDGE TO BE MORE FAITHFUL WITH THIS MISSION.

Please bear with me as I try to swim for my life.

And by the way, I am so glad I don't have to do this alone.
I have a Best Friend that wants to help me, and be with me every stroke of the way.

"It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God. We get exhausted because we try to do God's work in our own way." - Oswald Chambers

Sensory Overload

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may life you up in due time." - 1 Peter 5:6, 7

Today.

Today, my ears were temporarily deafened
by a decibel chart-shattering, eardrum ripping, sanity splitting
scccccccrrrrrreeeeeeeeeecccccccccchhhhhhhhhh
by a broken door leading into the student center.
This was nails on a chalk board times 50,000.

And then I went to a convocation by a talented guitarist.
But I had the misfortune of looking up at the giant, 3 million watt bulb
lights for no reason.
And was soundly blinded for a moment or two.
When vision returned, everything was clouded, whirling, and surreal.
It didn't take long for my eyes to snap back to normal...thank goodness.

What a day.

Then it occurred to me that the presence of God may be something like that.
Except minus the unpleasantness.
And adding in gloriousness.
...
This was a bad analogy.
But WHATEVER.
It makes sense in my head.

So anyway.

God's presence KILLED PEOPLE.
One guy just touched something the Lord had dwelled in, and he dropped dead!
Elijah was allowed to see God as He passed a cave, but God had to partially block his vision so Elijah wouldn't die!
Just gazing on Him is death!

Makes me feel like a sinful piece of flotsam.

I don't know why,
but for some reason that Holy and marvelous God
gave us His Son.

"Though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not." - C.S. Lewis

Word Vomit

"No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen." - Jewish Proverb

So.
Hey.

Haven't blogged in a little while.
And I finally have something to say.


STOP
THINKING
YOU
KNOW
EVVVEERRRYYYYTTTHHHHIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Count to 10, Rachel. Count to 10.


Some people think they are doing the world a favor by lending their endless knowledge
to those of us who are, according to them, "un-enlightened"
as to their brilliance, and smirk at the notion that a person could
possibly know something they don't.

STUPID ELITISTS.

Lame.
Lame.
Lame.
Lame.
Lame.

Our job, as Christians, is not to go around telling everyone what we think we know.
It is to LISTEN.
That means ceasing running our mouths.
For once.

Sheesh.

So next time you feel the urge,
that sickening, twisting, unsettling impetus to tell a person all about your "extensive" knowledge,
just put a cork in it and listen to what they have to say.
WHAT A NOVEL IDEA!

Maybe, EVEN YOU, will learn something.

That goes for all of us.

"Never miss a chance to shut up." - Will Rogers

Blinders of Blessings

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Today I was standing in line at the cafeteria, and I heard something that startled me.

A guy was talk to his friends, and (yes, I shamelessly eavesdropped) he said:
"I can't come back next year."
His friends answered:
"Why?"
He then said:
"Well, since I live in Korea, I am required to serve in the military for two years - then I can possibly come back to Southern."

I am a victim of consumerism.
We have to have new stuff, right now, until it isn't new anymore.
Which is usually not very long.

Some little kid is dying of starvation right now.
Some elderly man is drinking sewer water because he has no other water source.
Some young woman is going to sell herself tonight because she has no money.

We are so pathetic.
We take God's gifts to us for granted.
We think we DESERVE all that He has provided for us.
Who do we think we are?

"If you can't be content with what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped."

- Anonymous

Eh

"I refuse to make uninspired music." - Ben Harper

It seems like the more I try to do kind things for people, the more often kindnesses are shown to me.

I am sad this blog has morphed from it's original intent into my own religious ravings.
Although they are somewhat entwined.
Whatever.

I have been lax about faithfully blogging every day.
And that makes me angry.
But I just haven't had much to say the last week or so.
I'm not sure why.

"Boredom is an emptiness filled with insistence." - Eric Hoffer

I Can't Take It In

"What is man, that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou visit him?"

- Psalm 8:3,4

Things aren't always sunshiny.

Sometimes they just downright stink.

You drift away from things that matter,

and fill your mind with things that don't.

But God always has a way of bringing you back into focus.

Like showing us how small we are.

There was a worship tonight in the dorm.

They showed a video of a man speaking about God in relation to the universe He created.

(by the way, I found them on YouTube - do yourself a favor and watch them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewktSKbWZUI )

I have not the words to speak of this.

The subject is too immense for me.

But I can say that God always has a way of coming back into our lives.

We just have to let Him in.

That means actually spending time with Him.

The fact that we have that option is what He died for.

And that just ... flabbergasts me.

And I apologize for not blogging every day.

I held a lot of doors, made a few cards, and bought Sonic drinks.

"Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big God is." - Owen Orr

Painters With Poor Eyesight

"How do we know that the sky isn't green ... maybe we are all just colorblind." - Anonymous

Maybe we are.
We all live behind the screens of past experiences.

There is so much out there.
But we walk down the promenade
and eat take-out salad
and tie our shoes
and look at faces
and walk up stairs
and sync our ipod
and slam drawers
and drop our soap in the shower
and text multiple people at the same time thinking we know everything.

Don't just think "yeah, that's true" to yourself and move on.
Think about it.
Dwell on it.
Remember it as you wake up tomorrow.
We base our whole world views on stuff that has happened to us that we have analyzed to death.

I want to look at things as if I've never seen them before.

It's funny how this whole thing has turned into what it is.

And I held doors again today.
And that's okay.

"There are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche